The following is an experimental writing piece with an illustration attached. Process: Kent wrote lines for “Manny”, and Kyle wrote lines for “Simon”. Simple. Simple Simon, the Pieman. I think I would like to be a Pieman. Ah, I hate career moves.
Enjoy.
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Manny: Hey man. How’s it going?
Simon: Terrible. My cat has disappeared – completely.
Manny: Really? Oh shit, I’m sorry. How long has he been missing?
Simon: You don’t get it. Mr. Fluffer HAS DISAPPEARED. There was a sorcerer at my house…things went awry.
Manny: No. I mean, I remember seeing him Saturday night at the party, but after that… nada.
SImon: You aren’t listening! You couldn’t have seen him Saturday night, because we were cuddling. Mr. Fluffer and I like to cuddle Saturday nights; it’s in my calendar. He vanished into thin air – literally – last night.
Manny: Look, if you don’t trust me, you don’t trust me – but I am telling you the truth!
Simon: Manny, none of this matters. I’m processing the disappearance of my cat, and I am okay with it. The big problem here is that your mom is overweight and mean. Frankly, she is a fat bitch.
Manny: NO YOUR MOM IS FAT, BITCH!
Simon: (Jumps at Manny, puts a hand down his pants and yanks on his pubic hair)
Manny: EUAHH! STOP PULLING MY HAIR!
Simon: Like that will stop me! I want you to say “ok ok ok ok” and then “truce”.
Manny: Ok ok ok ok. (out of breath) Truce……fuck (annoyed)…. you fuckin’ ripped a chunk of my hair out.
Simon: It wasn’t something I wanted to do, man. You were just being a huge dick, and I reacted to your dickness. I am sorry.
Manny: Yeah me too. (bashful)
Simon: You wanna go hang out with underprivileged youth? Sometimes you can get them to do stuff for you – bad stuff.
Manny: Ok! Sure!
Simon: And when I say bad stuff, I mean (puts his hand down Manny’s pants again)
Manny: Wait. What?! Stop touching me?
Simon: (Rips more pubes out) (Laughs)
Manny: It wasn’t as bad this time!
Stumble It!
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