Archive for November, 2009

To The Guy Who Low-Fived Me Today While I Was Running

I know it might have seemed cool at the time, but I just…look…I don’t…

Okay. I’m just going to say it.

I didn’t really want to low-five you.

You know what? I’m not even sorry. I was just too rattled to not slap your hand. I feel violated, really.

I saw you coming towards me, looking super pumped to be running, wearing your muscle shirt, sunglasses and spandex shorts, and I was just going to nod my head at you. Just a good old head nod acknowledging the fact that we were both human beings running for exercise. I thought that was enough. Oh, how wrong I was. Just as I was gearing up for the head nod you come out of nowhere, lower your left hand, and put on your best “LET’S DO THIS!” face.

I freaked out. In the split second between me recognizing that you were going for the low-five and me putting my hand down to consensually hit yours I thought, “There’s no way you can’t high five this guy. He looks so pumped. It will be awkward if you don’t do it. He might stop and say something like, ‘Why didn’t you low-five me, bro?’ Um…uhhh…DO IT NOW, KYLE! THERE’S NOT MUCH TIME LEFT!”

And in that instance I was able to identify with rape victims everywhere. I even heard you whisper AWESOME as it happened. It gives me shivers just thinking about it. Shame on you. You knew that societal rules made it impossible for me not to smack hands with you; it would have been rude. Especially since we were both running for exercise.

So, Guy Who Low-Fived Me While I Was Running, I may have said “yes” by submitting to your extended, open hand, but I am telling you right now that the feeling of elation you felt as our palms met was not, by any stretch of the word, mutual.


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Wilshire Boulevard

Wilshire Boulevard. No sunglasses. I am always forgetting them. And always regretting it. The constant blinding is still new to me. Sidewalks grasp trees that don’t belong. I wonder where they were seeds.

Two men in ties and slacks stand outside their office building, staring at two trees elevated in a concrete planter as if they had happened upon them for the first time. They point at the beautiful mess of branches and squint to get a better look. What are they so interested in? Are they wondering how such a mighty being could look so frail?

I am walking aimless; hands in pockets, unable to find a bookstore. The office men and their demonstrative display below the trees distracts me and I am struck blind by an apparition.

She is crying and angry with me. I pretend not to notice her, turning to look at something across the boulevard. I am not blessed with grace. My feet tangle beneath me and gravity propels me against the towering walls of the office building.

With her speed my ghost floats to me and holds the tip of a knife to the small of my back. I am taken hostage. She wipes her nose.

I kiss the structure, closing my eyes. She whispers and I don’t hear a word, but her tone is wicked. She is in control. With the butt of her knife she knocks me unconscious.

I wake up screaming. Upon investigation I find that my feet are firmly encased in a concrete slab at the base of some building. I might be on Wilshire Boulevard. I also might not be. The sun is out and I assume that at least one day has passed. My apparition is nowhere in sight. I am unmoving, mercilessly stable, and lost all the same.

It’s hot. The sunglasses mistake is becoming more infuriating than before. My pale skin is pink, but I know it will blister soon. The thought of this nearly makes me pass out. I am hovering outside my own pathetic figure.

That is, until a maintenance worker comes to spray me with his hose. The crystal stream hits me, shining optical diamonds as it reflects off the killing sun. I lap at the water like a happy dog, drooling. Soaking wet, I am satisfied.

As night falls I curse the maintenance worker. Bring me blankets! I am freezing!

I am also burning, or at least my legs are. Cramps have set in, and I decide this is Karma. Hoping to quell the stabbing in my quadriceps I attempt to sit, but my Tibia threatens to snap against the high and tight cement. I can’t do anything right.

A few drunk couples watch my failure and laugh. I admit that I look funny – out of place – but I don’t believe their laughter is necessary. They scurry off and I am left alone in the moonlight.

Just another tree.

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We’re Back…

It’s been nearly 8 months since our last post. What can we say? There are excuses, but not one of them is good.

Instead of updating you on the past, we are heading straight for the future. There will be a new post later today, and as often as possible in the coming days, weeks and months. We aren’t planning on any structured post dates, and we’ll be mixing up the way we do things. While there will always be collaborative art/writing posts, we aren’t making them a necessity. The Unlimited Freedom Castle will now, more than ever, live up to its name. Any creative impulses we have, individually or together, we will post here. No guidelines and no restrictions.

We look forward to sharing ourselves with you…if you’ll have us back.

- Kent and Kyle

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