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Where Disappearing Goes

Snow falls. Like sheets suspended and lowered it blankets the ground, ubiquitous. It comes down through the forest, skirting by outstretched branches and their needles and cones. Accumulation hushes the frozen soil, piling on and pressing down slowly, a soft suffocation.

The trees shoot up from the grip of snow, defiant. Their spread, miles in each direction, is incomprehensible, tamed only by elevation in the highest – hallelujah. Each layer reveals the unknown, feared in its own right, but terrifying when uncovered as identical. More and more trees, towering overhead, lain out on all sides as a tunnel without direction, and the only new thing is that falling snow.

It fills the tracks left by the men, passing through the woods. Their breathing and boot steps huff and crunch through the quiet.

One man is sick. He coughs into his fist and rubs the spit into his overcoat. His beard is gnarled and wet.

The other is wide-eyed and determined. He carries a length of rope at one side, and a compass at the other, leading.

The wide-eyed man looks over his shoulder at the sick man lagging behind. He pauses and waits. Hunched, the sick man stumbles forward and then stops. He wills his breath to slow, to cease. He stares at the white ground, listening. Just as he is to become a statue he lifts his weary head and spies his partner.

The two men share a look, and the sick one grunts, wipes a clump of matted hair from his eyes, and waves the wide-eyed man forward with a feeble gesture. The wide-eyed man obliges. Holding back a warm smile, he wraps the rope tighter around his gloved hand and carries on.

Labored breathing fills the air. The journey continues.

If only for a moment. In a slow-motion tumble the fevered man falls over in a heap, billowing fresh powder in plumes. His impact is muted by the mass of flakes infesting the air, jumbled and hurrying towards the floor. He lets out a whimper and his wide-eyed compatriot swivels around to see him.

He is a dog in the snow, barreling toward the fallen man, diving to his side. He grabs him, hugs him across the torso and brings him up and alive. Peering into his face he grabs his doughy cheeks, thick with beard, and implores him to snap back to life. He shakes the man, and the man recognizes him. There is more left in him, but not much.

-

The wide-eyed man places his shoulder against the sick man’s chest, gathers his strength, and lifts mightily. His knees crack under the weight. Each breath becomes a puff of smoke, hanging in the air like wandering ghosts before disappearing into the ether. He stares into the assault of snow and envisions a path sheltered from above, illuminated before him. He lets his boots do the carrying.

At the top of a small rise the wide-eyed man stops for a moment and sees a break in the trees below. The snow has stopped and he can hear the faint trickling of flowing water. Somehow his eyes get wider. They both stand there, resting and listening to the creek below. He releases his partner and stretches his back and legs. The sick man begins to lower himself with the greatest care and sits down. Gathering up his knees he brings his body together and keeps warm. For a moment he just shivers and stares down at the creek.

Looking right and looking left the creek wanders off the mountain and off toward somewhere. The bank on which the men are perched polished off a sizeable portion of open space where the creek could breath free of the hemline of the trees. It is easy to imagine a shovel-wielding god carving out its path, angry at the spawning of the trees and wishing it had never birthed them.

The wide-eyed man gives a long look to the seated sick man. He grips the rope and chews on the insides of his lip, hesitates and then asks the sick man if he is ready. The sick man coughs into the snow sending flakes scattering. Adjusting his legs he does not reply. He stares past the creek on into the darkening forest beyond it.

Kneeling, the wide-eyed man places a hand on his companion’s back, patting it twice, making a dull packing sound against the leather of his coat. The sick man looks up at him and feigns strength. His eyes betray him. The sick man is unconvinced. He is at the end of his line. The wide-eyed man grabs his hand and shoves a shriveled piece of mapping paper into it. He points to the creek on the map. He points to the creek below. The sick man sucks in a deep breath and attempts to hoist himself. His partner rises with him, but he pushes off, claiming independence. He brushes the snow pack from his body and without a word he starts on down the bank.

The flowing water is visible as traveling bubbles just beneath a layer of ice and at open patches along the stream. Up close the frozen engineering is evident – white lines and fissures etched out on the surface in evolving detail.

The men travel along the edge, moving towards the mountains, up and around the rocks resting on the shoreline. At calculated intervals the wide-eyed man kneels down and brushes away some snow from the surface, examining the cold gray world underneath.

Far gone from their initial trail it begins to snow again. The men look skyward. In this open area it’s impossible to tell where the light hue of the sky becomes the falling flakes. They are just there. And as they walk upstream the sick man notices something protruding from the ice, something odd. He looks at his wide-eyed partner with something resembling excitement. Could it be?

At the oddity they strain to see through the foggy surface of the ice. And suddenly it becomes certain. The protruding thing is a boot, and the boot leaps to legs and so on until they see the face of the fallen man. The wide-eyed man gets on his knees and brushes the dirt and snow off the space above the iced man’s face. His eyes are closed and his face has lost its color. His hair is shorn and it doesn’t look the way the wide-eyed man remembers. He places both palms against the ice and finds the iced man’s shoulders. He stares at the blank expression locked in for all time.

Behind him the sick man closes his eyes. He turns away and coughs, puts a hand on his forehead and stares off into the forest. His knees shake and his breathing picks up. He looks back at the wide-eyed man on all fours, catching a glimpse of the iced man peeking through under his left arm. A branch cracks in the forest and leaves its tree. He shudders and shuffles his feet to higher ground.

The wide-eyed man’s stare is broken at the sound. He lifts his neck to the sick man and sees the backs of his knees up the bank. He shouts for him to come take a look, to pray with him and send the iced man on his way, but the sick man shakes his head.

And the wide-eyed man pounds his fist on the ice. He bores his vision through the ice and forces his energies to the man, but the ice does not crack. His beard shakes and his face tenses and reddens as he again slams his fist to the ice. He screams at the man beneath the ice and demands that he awaken. He holds the rope in front of his face as an object of removal, of safety, of aid. He hisses at the iced man that he should be buried at home, even if it means being drug through the snow. He pounds and pounds and pounds his fists at the ice until they are red and numb and he can no longer pound them. He relents, drawing his gaze to the sick man motionless on the bank.

The sick man is holding back tears and inhabiting a world of elsewhere, his glossy eyes fixed in place. His breathing is slow and shallow again, barely perceptible amongst the trickling of the stream and the burking of the falling snow. In his daze he does not hear the wide-eyed man running at him; does not have a chance to duck him as he is tackled from behind. Sick and helpless he is wrestled to the ground, faced pressed into the deep cold.

The wide-eyed man grips the rope with purpose and forces it on the sick man’s neck, pulling it tight against his throat. There isn’t much of a struggle, for the sick man just doesn’t have the strength in him. He gasps for air and thrashes his body instinctually, but the movements are languid and his breaths already choked with phlegm. The wide-eyed man drills his knees into the small of his companion’s back and treats the rope as the reins of a riding horse. Their violence takes them deeper into the snow and exposes the naked earth, concrete and ashamed.

The wide-eyed man’s wide eyes are glossed like the sick man’s and his stare is off in the forest. He holds the rope long after the sick man’s life is gone, until he notices a stain of blood on the snow ahead of him, coughed up in the last of the sick man’s struggle. He lets go of the rope and his body leans backward from his lengthy exhale. He is exhausted and sweating, and so he takes his jacket off and throws it over his dead companion.

Down at the creek he takes a last look at the iced man and nods. He drags the sick – dead – man, his face shrouded with the jacket, to an open slot in the ice and slides him into the water, pushing hard and leaving his feet exposed to the shins. Moving to a boulder near the water’s edge he scrapes a great deal of snow off of it and sends it flying to the frozen creek. It scatters on the surface and covers the iced man’s pale visage. He does the same to the dead man, and then brushes himself free of any snow on his own person. Satisfied, he pulls the compass from his pocket and throws it as far as he can down the stream. It skips on its landing and settles somewhere far out of his vision.

He starts up the virgin embankment towards the new forest, but not without pausing first and saying No matter which way I would have gone, you would have only been a burden.

And with that he wanders into the unknown.

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To The Lady Who Stole The Parking Spot That I Was CLEARLY Waiting For At Costco

Fuck you.

Seriously. Are you stupid? Do you not understand the rules and etiquette of a crowded Costco parking lot? You are insane. Or you better be insane. There better be something wrong with you: mentally or physically or neurologically or something. This is bull shit.

Do you know how long I have been driving around this parking lot? 10 minutes at least. Who knew that Costco would be so crowded on a Thursday at noon? I didn’t. Yes, I know Costco has $1.50 hot dogs and those berry smoothies for really cheap, but still. I don’t know who I’m more mad at: Costco for not having a bigger parking lot; or you for being so incredibly stupid.

On second thought – It’s you.

Are you unable to see the distinct flashing of hazard lights? I had them on, and they were meant to be a signal that said, “I’m waiting for this fucking parking spot.” Do blinking lights not register in your pupils? You know, maybe they don’t, because you’re so damn old.

Yes, I went there. Agism is not beneath me. It’s a relevant accusation in this situation. This time you’re stealing my fucking spot at Costco, but next time you might be plowing right IN to Costco, hell bent on getting a year’s supply of metamucil and Old lady vitamins, uncaring of the countless pedestrians and Costco workers being crushed beneath your boat car. Get your grandson to do your shopping for the sake of this town. That is, if you haven’t already severed that grandparental bond with your lack of presents, your constant say agains, and your oppressive old lady farts (don’t act like you can’t hear them).

Alright, wow, I lost my train of thought here. What was I yelling at you for? I’m kind of out of breath because I had to park a half a mile away just to get my big bag of peanuts, my soaps, and some fucking samples at this place. God damn. Okay, yes, now I remember. You’re the bitch that stole my spot. Don’t you walk away from me. This is serious. Ma’am…what are you…don’t call the police…I NEED MY PEANUTS!


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To The Guy Who Low-Fived Me Today While I Was Running

I know it might have seemed cool at the time, but I just…look…I don’t…

Okay. I’m just going to say it.

I didn’t really want to low-five you.

You know what? I’m not even sorry. I was just too rattled to not slap your hand. I feel violated, really.

I saw you coming towards me, looking super pumped to be running, wearing your muscle shirt, sunglasses and spandex shorts, and I was just going to nod my head at you. Just a good old head nod acknowledging the fact that we were both human beings running for exercise. I thought that was enough. Oh, how wrong I was. Just as I was gearing up for the head nod you come out of nowhere, lower your left hand, and put on your best “LET’S DO THIS!” face.

I freaked out. In the split second between me recognizing that you were going for the low-five and me putting my hand down to consensually hit yours I thought, “There’s no way you can’t high five this guy. He looks so pumped. It will be awkward if you don’t do it. He might stop and say something like, ‘Why didn’t you low-five me, bro?’ Um…uhhh…DO IT NOW, KYLE! THERE’S NOT MUCH TIME LEFT!”

And in that instance I was able to identify with rape victims everywhere. I even heard you whisper AWESOME as it happened. It gives me shivers just thinking about it. Shame on you. You knew that societal rules made it impossible for me not to smack hands with you; it would have been rude. Especially since we were both running for exercise.

So, Guy Who Low-Fived Me While I Was Running, I may have said “yes” by submitting to your extended, open hand, but I am telling you right now that the feeling of elation you felt as our palms met was not, by any stretch of the word, mutual.


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We’re Back…

It’s been nearly 8 months since our last post. What can we say? There are excuses, but not one of them is good.

Instead of updating you on the past, we are heading straight for the future. There will be a new post later today, and as often as possible in the coming days, weeks and months. We aren’t planning on any structured post dates, and we’ll be mixing up the way we do things. While there will always be collaborative art/writing posts, we aren’t making them a necessity. The Unlimited Freedom Castle will now, more than ever, live up to its name. Any creative impulses we have, individually or together, we will post here. No guidelines and no restrictions.

We look forward to sharing ourselves with you…if you’ll have us back.

- Kent and Kyle

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I Saved The World From Global Warming!

Not only has it been a while since Kyle or I have posted anything on here, but it also has been a long, long time since we worked on the movie I Saved The World From Global Warming! together. Co-created by Kyle and colleague Nolan Wang, this comedy has a little flourish of some T.U.F.C. humor and illustration-work. (Kyle and Nolan were gracious enough to invite me to animate certain sections of the film). I won’t say much more about it, as Kyle is the real authority behind the film.

This weekend I Saved The World From Global Warming! is playing in a Seattle film festival, and I couldn’t make it. In debt to Kyle, I thought I would try to make up for missing the screening by posting about it here. So watch the trailer above, and check out the myspace page for the film. There’s tons of info about it there.

Good luck in Seattle guys!

-Kent

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GOLD: The Series, a recommendation.

If there’s one thing that us starving artists must do it is stick together. With that said, The Unlimited Freedom Castle would like to introduce you to GOLD, a comedic webseries.

gold_title_new_d20

The show is the brainchild of creator, David Nett, and has been put together with a wonderful, completely volunteer cast and crew. It’s a comedy series about Professional Role Playing Gamers. If you’re not sure what Role Playing Games are think of Dungeons and Dragons. Now pretend there is a World Championship for Dungeons and Dragons. THAT is what GOLD brings you, and it’s hilarious. 1 part sports-movie spoof, 1 part fantastic/real writing and acting, and 100 parts passion is what you get from GOLD. If that doesn’t sell you, then just know that TUFC highly recommends it. We would never lead you astray.

Start watching the Prologue and get caught up through Episode 2!

www.goldtheseries.com

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Where are you?

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SHOW TOMORROW (THURSDAY) and a NEW POST!

Hey guys! It’s Kyle! I’m back from the dead, and living in Oregon. Life is kinda crazy at the moment, but none of that matters to you. What matters to you is that The Unlimited Freedom Castle will be making its real world (read: non-Internet) debut at the ON Gallery (321 NW 6th #101) in Portland TOMORROW NIGHT! All the details are in the posts below, and we hope to see you there!

Also, it’s been a while since we’ve had a good old-fashioned dose of collaboration here on the site, so without further ado, I give you….

The Mask Illustration by Kent St. John

RE: Your application and interview for official Villain of Westchester

Dear Toxic Death Shaman:

Thank you for coming in to our offices at City Hall yesterday and meeting with our council. It was a pleasure meeting you, and discussing the opening of Town Villain. There were many villains to choose from, and we were pleasantly surprised by your specific brand of evilness and firm commitment to “Toxic Torture” as you called it. With that said, we regret to inform you that the position has been filled.

We make it our business to let our applicants know where we think their skills are EXCELLING, MEETING, or LACKING in our requirements. The following is a detailed analysis of what we believe makes a terrifying Town Villain, and where you stand in these categories on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being “so un-terrifying a baby might actually confuse you for its mother” and 10 being “get the fuck out of town, this guy is going to kill us all”.

NAME: 5 out of 10
The council really had trouble deciding where to grade you here. You started out so well with TOXIC and DEATH; it doesn’t get much more direct than that. But the decision to call yourself a “shaman”, well, we were left shaking our heads. Personally, I don’t want to mess around with anyone that has TOXIC DEATH in their name, but SHAMAN conjures up thoughts of emaciated old men with beards in a cave. Now, maybe you’re thinking “hey, old guys in a caves are creepy, and may have possible pedophiliac tendencies; that sounds evil” and you’re right. We actually lowered your score more for that. That’s not the type of scary we’re looking for.
SUGGESTION: Drop the “shaman” and go with “DEMON” or “AVENGER”. Hell, just “man” would be better than Shaman.

COSTUME: 3 out of 10
Really, we couldn’t get past the mask here. Take this as constructive criticism, please, but this was, perhaps, the WORST mask we saw. The damn thing looks like you found it in an Army Surplus store, got high on paint fumes, and decided to get all crazy with your brush set. Kittens and disabled children would instill more fear into criminals than this glorified gas mask. I’m sorry, but the council was appalled at your apparent lack of effort into this piece of the costume. We see what you were trying to do with the rest of the outfit, and that’s why we gave you a 3 on this one. Really, just tell us, were you like: “holy fuck, I’ve got the Villain interview in like 15, and I totally forgot to make my mask – the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ANY VILLAIN OUTFIT?!”
SUGGESTION: Find the definition of “scary” at dictionary.com, and replace that with whatever definition you’ve got in your brain.

LAIR: 1 out of 10
As a shaman you should AT LEAST live in a cave. Yes, we know Westchester is an affluent suburban town, and there aren’t many caves up for grabs, but there wasn’t a hint of creativity. Your “lair” is, and I quote you, “a basement with no furniture, a freezer, and a pull up bar”. While that might be scary to an interior decorator, your hostages will be wondering what kind of meat you’re storing, instead of passing out from shock on your “evil experiment table” (just an idea). Now we see how you landed on the name shaman: You’re lazy. How can we expect you to carry on with the caliber of villainy that this town requires when you can’t even build yourself a proper lair? Pathetic.
SUGGESTION: Get a drawing board, and then go back to it.

Unfortunately, it is our policy to throw out any candidate who receives a 1 out of 10 score in ANY of our criteria. Our citizens deserve a better class of villain, Mr. Death Shaman, and we simply could not bear to watch you attempt to terrorize our town.

As you know, we did find a new town villain (he’s breathtaking, truly), and he will be making his first appearance soon. If you do anything to disrupt this debut you will be fined, and taken out of consideration for any further villain job openings. Westchester does have a 5-year limit on villains, so you should feel free to apply again in 2013. Use the suggestions we have given you, and you’ll be on your way to making Westchester quiver in fear!

Thank you for your time,

Cecil Jorgensten
Mayor of Westchester

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Upcoming T.U.F.C. Illustration Preview

Hey everyone. Our show is approaching. This past weekend I finished-up the final illustration piece, so now all of them are finished. I thought I’d post a little preview of each image. These are tight crops of the final pieces that will be shown at ON Gallery in Portland, OR., August 7th. If you need some more information on the show, check out the two posts before this one.

By the way, Kyle’s making a giant leap up north today. He’s making his way back to Oregon after living in SoCal for the past few years (I think it’s been 5 years). Bon Voyage, Kyle.

-Kent

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Out of Commission

Illustration by Kent St. John

"Out of Commission" Illustration by Kent St. John

Considering that Kyle and I might be “out of commission” for a week or so, I thought I’d just throw up a quick post. The image above was originally a sketch from one of my books.

There’s nothing worse than a neglected blog, but Kyle and I are doing our best to keep in contact, and let you know what’s going on. If you’ve check out the post previous to this one, you know that we’re busy preparing for The Unlimited Freedom Castle gallery debut. Just yesterday I sent out the official press release for the show. Check it out, and come see the show in August if you’re in the Portland area. The official opening is First Thursday, August 7th at ON Gallery.

THE UNLIMITED FREEDOM CASTLE: “WRITTEN BY / ILLUSTRATED BY” PRESS RELEASE:

On April fools days, 2008, the first collaborative post by Kyle Dickinson and Kent St. John went live on their blog, “The Unlimited Freedom Castle.” However, this wasn’t the beginning of any fooling around. A whole four months later, Kent and Kyle have gone on to create thirty five more wholesome posts, with a handful still waiting in the wings to be published.

The Unlimited Freedom Castle is just what it sounds like: a place where imagination reigns supreme. This blog is essentially a creative outlet for its two creators, Kent and Kyle. One is an artist, the other a writer. On this site they combine their talents to see what happens. The purpose is to see where the imagination will go.

About the show:

“Written By / Illustrated By”
With the routine blogging well under their belts, Kent and Kyle have decided to take The Unlimited Freedom Castle to a new and different level: the gallery. This two man show will feature writing inspired by art, and art inspired by writing, very much in the way the blog functions. In addition to just showing their work, the viewer will have the opportunity to interact and contribute as well by either writing in reaction to Kent’s illustration, or illustrating in reaction to Kyle’s writing– or both. When the show comes down at the end of August, the viewers’ contributions will be published on The Unlimited Freedom Castle blog.

About The Unlimited Freedom Castle:

To find out more about The Unlimited Freedom Castle, why not head on over to the site? theunlimitedfreedomcastle.com

About ON Gallery:

ON Gallery is a new addition to the Everett Station Galleries.

ON Gallery is a project focussed on exploring the relationship between
art and technology by displaying technology and interactive media in a gallery setting.

ON Gallery is now seeking artists and collaborators to show 2d, 3d,
installation, videography, interaction, kinetic sculpture and other
artistic practices which are supported or informed by technology.
Please send proposals in pdf or plain text format to callforartists@ongallery.org


END OF PRESS RELEASE

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